A very wise man once told me that every action can be linked to desire or threat, which can surprisingly be a very fine line.

My family hasn't always been the best. Growing up, we were a wholesome family. We ate dinner together, attend any school function, never fought. It was a good time. Regardless, we weren't close. The unspoken assumption that emotions get you nowhere hovered through the house like clear smoke. By the time my brother grew into his troublesome teenage years, I jumped on the role of stabilizer. I was the one they didn't have to worry about, did my homework, stayed out of trouble, did my chores. I got older, things got crazy and ironically, I turned out to be the more problematic child.

I ran away to college.

Then I learned a good lesson: wherever you are, there you are. So, I began the task of fixing who I am, not where I am. Now there's a never ending process for you.

It seems that just as I have begun to find comfort in where I am, my time to leave sparks up. I hope that's a good sign. I'm running towards something, not running away. It's desire, not threat. Right? And plus, if it doesn't work out.....I can always come home..the thought makes me cringe only slightly.